MommyShould

First of all, stop worrying about whether or not you’re a good mom. You are. “Bad” moms rarely take the time to even ask the question. Ok, climbing down off my soap box. In my nearly 15+ years of experience working with families, questions about parenting skills and parenting guilt were the top 2 concerns brought forth by moms. Now, maybe that’s because moms were more likely to be at appointments than dads, I don’t know. I do know though that when the questions came up, they sounded a little like this:

“My child has been sick for half his life. I don’t know if I can put him in time out for acting up. Hasn’t he been through enough?
“At the end of the day when I walk in the door and the kids are screaming, I just want to walk back out. Is that terrible?”

Any of these feel familiar? You’re not alone if they do. Two different issues are at play here, but both relate to parenting and confidence. I won’t get into all the underlying issues, because they are different for each scenario. Where they are similar is an uncertainty about the ability to parent, about what a “good” mom should do, and how to manage those thoughts and feelings. My clients often come to me upset about a child or teen’s behavior and while this is a major focus of therapy, motherhood with its ups and downs is another focus.

The best things my clients learn as part of our work together are self-care and the ability to challenge those nagging negative thoughts about the quality of their parenting. As one well-known psychologist once said, you “should all over yourself” when you only see one –sided expectations.

If you would like to problem-solve these issues or other parenting concerns, contact Dr. Sandra Cortina at hpfamilytherapy@gmail.com for more information.